Hollow Earth

Top Ten Ways Cyan Can Get People Interested in Uru

I’m thinking of converting this blog into a kind of Minecraft blog, or maybe starting a third blog. In the mean time here’s another top ten list. The top ten ways Cyan can get people interested in Uru.

10. Replace Yeesha with Justin Bieber.

9. Release the Uru source code. Haha, see? that’s a joke because… oh never mind.

8.  Include a copy of Minecraft with every donation so fans have something to do.

7. Release classified government documents.

6.Replace Zandi with Gabe Newell, no one will know the difference.

5. Promote Rand’s son to be next in line to become Dear Leader.

4. Release an ad making sure people know Rand is not a witch.

3. Announce they’re promoting one of their nutcase fans every month as part of their “Nut of the Month” club.

2. Try setting RAWA on fire.

1. Make the next Uru trailer with the Old Spice Guy. “Hello, ladies.”


Filed under: General

2 Responses

  1. D'nial says:

    In regards to #6, sometimes I dream about Valve buying out Cyan and re-starting Uru. They’d bring over a decent chunk of their fans, they’d bring in more revenue, they’d actually have time and resources for DOING something, they’d come up with more interesting plots than Cyan could concoct during most of MOUL, and all we’d have to deal with is the fact that content would never be released on time. OH WAIT. We have that problem already.

    Oh, and the fans that hate all non-Cyan contributors and refuse to do anything unless Cyan and only Cyan specifically says so would still be here, I suppose. But at least they would go back to being a minority that could be safely ignored.

    In regards to #10, I think we could do better with Edward from Twilight and his vapid, pitiful weakling of a girlfriend. That would bring in even more new fans, especially amongst the demographic of older women whose marriages are slowly dying.

    (The sad part is that I was only being partially sarcastic about the bit about the Valve takeover…)

  2. Tomala says:

    The DRC needs to install GLaDOS to the cavern. She’d probably run it a heckuvalot better.

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